Rattle Snacks and Prostitutes

Gin and Swanic are back on the road after departing El Paso, known last night as Swanic's favorite place. That was until this morning when he felt the full effects of last night's authentic Mexican dinner. After proclaiming that he felt like he had been fisted by a red hot chile pepper, and he didn't mean Anthony Kedis, he spent the majority of the morning in the bathroom. After their gastrointestinal delay and a delicious continental breakfast the headed out. Dodging falling space lab debris as they trucked down I-10 they stopped for gas, as instructed by approximately 37 billboards, at "Old West". Walking inside this seemingly quaint interstate-side shop the team stood dumbfounded as they came face to face with perhaps the largest porcelain collection this side of the pacific! Also sold were t-shirts, Mexican jumping beans and some sort of jerky dubbed "rattle snacks" which Swanic briefly entertained eating until a loud gargle of protest emitting from his stomach reminded him of the permanent damage done to his system last night that will forever change his eating habits. A word of advice: when a Mexican waitress, at a Mexican bar 2 miles from Mexico warns you that something you've ordered is HOT, heed her warning. Moving on Gin had to make her 463rd bathroom stop of the trip. Pulling up to the rest area Swanic queried aloud as to which would be worse; his impending exprience in the desolate roadside restroom predominantly utilised by long haul truckers named Buck and Slugger, or Gin's, used by the prostitutes that service said truckers. Suddenly the sign in front of them warning patrons to keep an eye out for rattle snakes didn't seem so scary. Gin went first, bravely entering the bathroom. "This isn't so bad." she thought. She entered the stall and did her business which is when it got interesting. Upon flushing the toilet Gin was soaked by a deluge of toilet water! In a fit of panic she turned only to find that she was locked in the stall! Trapped, soaking wet and alone Gin managed to jimmy the door open using her years of exprience managing an apartment building. Relieved by her regained feedom she stepped up to the sink and smiled at a middle aged woman to her right. It wasn't until Gin noticed the syringe in her hand that she thought better of engaging her in standard lavatory banter. Gin returned to the car and refused to speak of her exprience until Swanic had gone. Swanic's experince was thankfully less eventful, although the he did have to use the little boy's urinal which stood at most 3 inches from the floor as all others were occupied. At 6'3" the fact that Swanic didn't flood the washroom with urine was no small miracle. Now cruising down the road listening to Fleetwoodmac to soothe their rattled nerves Gin and Swanic are Los Angeles bound!

Swanic